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A story: Page one

The forest was thick with screaming. Men were helping their women who, in turn, were ushering children to safety. The lucky ones had already climbed trees before the Knights entered the forest but others had been dragged down, beaten, and questioned about the whereabouts of one of their kin. Still others were rushing away from the Knights, protecting the one the knights were seeking.

And she was almost to her secret tree. At first she refused to run away, the soldier in her wanting to kill the Knights for harming her people but her family and friends insisted she run – the King wanted her and that was never good. A branch snapped ahead of her and she quickly changed direction, running west of her tree and hoping to throw the Knights off track. She knew she wasn’t quick enough to make it to safety so she might as well get caught and protect her people from further torture.

She started to climb an old oak tree when a hand grabbed her and yanked her away. A Knight was brandishing a sword in her face, his own hidden by the mask that marked the King’s first General: intricately patterned with flames. The General smacked her across the face with the butt of his sword.

•••

General Letholdus threw down the girl from the forest into the middle of a large room. His King was at the front on his throne with three men to his left and two on his right. Around the other three walls, hidden, stood hundreds of Knights, dirty from the forest. The King glanced up from cleaning his sword to look at the girl from the forest. She wore a light blue tunic, beige tights, and a dark green robe; the hood was over her face.

“I found her, my King.” General Letholdus bowed then joined his two Captains to the right of the King’s throne.

“The boys of the prophecy have been found.” The King spoke to the girl. “They’ve just become of age and I need you to guide them through their training. I want to have a proper fight before I kill them. I will not take advantage of knowing their powers and kill them when they are weak.”

“If I train them, they will have more powers than you and you will not survive.”

“I trust you to not train them too much. Just enough for a fair fight.”

“Why me? There are others in your command who are more powerful,” She raised her head to the King. “And more trustworthy than I.”

“You may bring along three friends to help train these boys on your journey home. You may tell them whatever story you like as long as you don’t betray my trust.”

“Again, I hate you and your rule. Why should I do as you ask?”

“Because I have just found out your secret, Immortal.”

Here are some things you need to understand about me:

I have insomnia, depression, and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. They all work together to make each other worse (or more pronounced). I also don’t eat enough, I don’t feel like doing anything besides staring at a computer screen, and I am a loner who hates being around people so I don’t go out much. These last three things occur because of parts of the first two. Actually, depression starts this all off:

Symptoms of depression as found online

• difficulty concentrating [I can still concentrate well], remembering details [I have an eidetic memory], and making decisions [Yes, this can be difficult even for simple things like what to eat]
• fatigue and decreased energy [Yes, because of not sleeping well]
• feelings of guilt, worthlessness, and/or helplessness [I've been made fun of all my life so I feel unimportant]
• feelings of hopelessness and/or pessimism [Hmm... negative views of the world... Yea, I guess so. I hate people in general because of their selfish attitudes]
• insomnia [I have this], early-morning wakefulness [Yep, I sometimes wake up at 1 am or 4 am but it is mainly from my roommate making noise], or excessive sleeping [on the weekends when I can sleep in until 11 am]
• irritability [I get snappy at little things], restlessness [I am usually dancing to my own music in my head and I always need to be doing something with my hands. When I watch a movie at the theatre, I need to be eating popcorn and when I am watching a movie at home, I get out cards and play solitaire.]
• loss of interest in activities or hobbies once pleasurable, including sex [Not interested in sex period. Other activities: I am not motivated to start reading or writing or walking or hanging out with friends but when I get into it, I'm okay. Unless it is hanging out with other people. People piss me off.]
• overeating or appetite loss [Appetite loss - I have gotten in the habit of not eating because when I tried to at home, my dad got angry for making noise or eating junk. Here at school, there is not much variety to eat so I am getting tired of eating the same thing over and over again.]
• persistent aches or pains, headaches, cramps, or digestive problems that do not ease even with treatment [my back hurts upon waking up, my shoulders hurt throughout the day, I don't eat enough or right so my stomach hurts occasionally, and my brain sometimes gets these bursts of pain that occur then disappear as quickly as it came.]
• persistent sad, anxious, or “empty” feelings [I never know what I am feeling - I can't distinguish between sad, happy, ecstatic, depressed, content, confused, etc. I'm just sort of there.]
• thoughts of suicide, suicide attempts [I think about how certain people would react if I died and that doesn't bother me as much as the thought of what people might to do all of my belongings (burn, give away, sell, ignore) I would never kill myself because I can't bear leaving my books and movies and computer and Yoshi Bird, and mom, and brother...]

Warning signs of suicide with depression include:

• a sudden switch from being very sad to being very calm or appearing to be happy [not a suicide warning with me because I have to act happy around people or my father will get angry.]
• always talking or thinking about death [The concept is intriguing to me since we don't know what happens to the person...]
• clinical depression (deep sadness, loss of interest, trouble sleeping and eating) that gets worse [I don't know about these getting worse but they are present...]
• having a “death wish,” tempting fate by taking risks that could lead to death, like driving through red lights [Not present]
• losing interest in things one used to care about [We went over this]
• making comments about being hopeless, helpless, or worthless [My boyfriend is very sweet and he compliments me and lets me talk and express my opinion but I am not used to it so I clam up and let him make decisions and shy away at his compliments saying I'm ugly and no, I'm not a great person...]
• putting affairs in order, tying up loose ends, changing a will [I've thought about what I want in my will... but never have I written it up or 'put affairs in order']
• saying things like “It would be better if I wasn’t here” or “I want out” [I have thought that life would be unchanged with me gone]
• talking about suicide [Nope]
• visiting or calling people one cares about [Only because I am one the other side of the country from them, now. I miss my Californians...]

So, I don’t eat, am not motivated, can’t sleep well, and hate people because of my depression. The OCD comes from having nothing to do but stare at my surrounds and notice things that are out of place and when I am watching a movie, I organise my desk again…

I hope you understand my behavior better now.

For A Show Titled “Glee” Some Of The Content Is Not Very Gleeful

Heart attacks, harassment, cheating, criminal acts, evil cheerleading coach, depressed/controlling ex wife among others. xD

But yea. That’s all I have to say on that subject. The rest of this blog will be about… Hmm. Pie.

I like pie. So does Sylar. He likes peach pie. I like peach pie ice cream. Seriously, find it and try it. I also love apple pie (as we saw in my last post I just love apples) and banana bread and apple cake and pumpkin pie and chocolate cake and I guess I am just naming yummy desserts now. Sugar cookies, oatmeal cookies, my grandpa’s chocolate chip cookies, chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream, mint ice cream, strawberry ice cream…

Do you know how freaking awkward it is to have your YouTube video end enabling you to hear your roommate Skyping with her boyfriend? I don’t even want to write what she said. Gross though.

Anyhow (because Darren just said it in this video), I want dessert. And pizza. And… a boyfriend. Valentine’s Day sucks when you are single. But I am a loser and nobody likes me so I get to live life all alone.

*sigh* Goodnight, dragon. (Actually, I am going to dinner so that I can be done when roomies go and I can have the place to myself for a bit…)

When Life Hands You Lemons – Make Apple Juice

I love apple juice...

Yea. I watched A Very Potter Musical and A Very Potter Sequel long before Darren Criss was on Glee. But I watched part of one episode of Glee before AVPM. Glee scared me. Now that I have seen the Darren episodes, I am utterly confused. And I have been bored all weekend so I have been watching Glee. I am a Gleek now. xD But I still love Darren pre-glee. And apple juice. It is frakking delicious.

I don’t like lemons that much. I like lemonade though. Not so much regular lemonade as strawberry lemonade. Yumm. Apple juice still pwns. When we were younger, my mom, brother, and I were in Tae Kwon Do. Near our dojo was a Briarpatch so we went there for snacks and drinks either before or after class. My brother found this brand of apple juice that he liked. It was in a small, cute bottle. So my dad (being weird like always) called it a “little itty bitty baby apple juice”. We’ve been saying that ever since. We have to say in it a baby voice…

Apple juice has been my favourite fruit drink for years. I hate oranges and orange juice and lemonade by itself. I can’t stand cranberries. I just LOVE apple juice. I am a Mac user so that might have something to do with it. Though you’d think the people who love apples are Windows users because they munch the apples to get rid of them… but I love apples and Macs and apple juice and Darren Criss. Brian Rosenthal more but Darren is hilarious and talented and Harry Freakin’ Potter!

I don’t know what the point of this post is… Megavideo said I needed to wait 30 minutes to watch more Glee so… I’m wasting time. xD I don’t like all apples though. Green ones mainly. The really dark red ones don’t taste good. I like the light green. And the MacBook Pros. Seriously though, drink more apple juice. “Research suggests that apple juice increases acetylcholine in the brain, resulting in increased memory.” So, BOOYAH! I have an excellent memory and I drink apple juice.

Also, Red Vines. Gotta love ‘em.